Life is one big fad.
Big hair, flannel shirts, “baby on board” car signs, hotornot.com – we love a fad.
Online dating is not a fad, however, it is here to stay. Perhaps the ways and means will change, but the Internet has changed the way we go about our business, and not temporarily.
If you grew up collecting comic books, as I did, and still regret that you could never find that rare Spider-Man comic book for your collection, all you have to do is search eBay. If you have the cash, somebody will have the book. Life is just that simple. If only it were as easy to find the love of your life. (If you have the cash, there’s a Russian bride waiting for you, guys.)
In the old days I had to go to the comic book shop in downtown Minneapolis if I wanted to score that elusive Spider-Man comic book. If I were lucky I’d make it to a comic book show and have access to the inventory of dozens of comic book dealers who didn’t have a storefront, or a girlfriend. Comic book heaven, that’s what that was.
In the old days you had to go to a bar, private party, church social group or creepy singles dance to meet the love of your life. (I met a woman who went to a contrived singles mixer circa 2001; she was genuinely creeped out by the experience.) If you were lucky you met the love of your live at a friend’s wedding. Damn lucky, that’s what that was.
Just as the world of comic book collecting changed radically with the advent of the Internet, so did the world of dating. You didn’t have to interact with people in a social setting in order to make a first impression. Instead of going out to a social event and meeting somebody new, you could shop for a new boyfriend or girlfriend online, much like you’d shop for a new car. I’m not saying that’s wrong, but I never thought it was the best way to meet somebody. It seems as if I’m in the minority when it comes to that opinion.
There are new methods for our madness, but in the end the process is quite similar. Instead of going to a car dealership to see what’s on the lot, you peruse the local Ford dealership’s website to see if they have a dark blue Escort. In the end you still end up kicking the tires and taking the vehicle for a test drive before putting $1,000 down.
Instead of going to a bar to see who might be single, you peruse the online ads to see who might be an eligible, blue-eyed escort to take to your friend’s upcoming wedding. In the end you still end up kicking back with a beer at a local watering hole and testing your future date’s physical and emotional compatibility with your own. With any kind of luck you’ll spend far less than $1,000 to meet somebody who is worth your time and feels the same way about you.
Online dating is not a fad, but the websites and methods of meeting people online will continue to evolve, and that’s a good thing. One dating fad that no longer is en vogue, however, is speed dating, and that’s a shame.
I may be skeptical and old-fashioned, not to mention cynical and tired, but I went to a speed dating event several years ago. Speed dating had already reached its plateau, but there were plenty of seven-minutes dates to be had at bars throughout Minneapolis. Like all good fads, speed dating was quickly imitated and duplicated. I don’t know who came up with the idea, or where it started, but once the idea hit Minneapolis, numerous companies, local and national, saturated the market with events. I attended one such event, paying for my buddy to join me so I wouldn’t have to go it alone. (I was far from the only person who was unwilling to go it alone, I learned.)
I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the event I had chosen drew a few more women than men. As the women moved from chair to chair, a few of them had to sit out each round.
There are drawbacks to speed dating, as some events give you five minutes to spend with each potential mate, others give you eight. In some cases five minutes is more than enough time to know the person across the table isn’t for you, but other times eight minutes doesn’t give you as much time as you’d like to scratch all the surfaces you’re dying to itch.
I liked the speed dating format because you couldn’t hide behind an old photo or words on a computer screen. Sure, you could still lie about your occupation, hobbies, age or marital status, but your first impression, for better or for worse, was a truer representation of who you are.
Speed dating seemed like a better way to meet somebody than fishing through dozens of online personals. Yet somehow what seemed like a good idea to so many five or seven years ago has become a passing fancy. My my my my my.
Speed dating, did you love it or hate it?
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